Hi everyone,

Its been a while since I have been on here, but been hectic lately. My single, Needles and Pins Klaw has been selling well according to my royalty reports, it seems my biggest support is in the States followed by the UK and Germany. I cannot recall whether I told you guys about the music video, if not, you can view it on youtube by searching Needles and Pins Klaw, it is strange, so I´ll warn you guys now! Also since I have been offered a publishing deal for my first novel, The Reunion, where me and the Publisher are going through the text and cover proofs, it should be available from a amazon, waterstones, barnes and noble and whsmiths soon, will keep ya´posted. I am currently working on recording and releasing my Xmas single for this year, and I will be holding events to have it promoted here on the Coast, and I´m meeting up with more community members from Mijas and Marbella and its nice to work with the community with like minded people to achive results together. Anyone interesetd in taking part in findraising events for cruelty to animals and cancer and aids charities, please let me know, and we can have a chat. I just wantde to update you all. I will be back again soon…Rashpal. x

Joe doesn’t have much hair. It grows quite thick at the back and at the sides. But on the top – well, not a lot, just shine. When it gets too long, he looks like a mad professor. 

Barbers charge full price whether you have only half or a whole head of hair. To save money, it seemed like a great idea to buy some hair-clippers and I would do the cutting. 

It was midday, and Joe nervously sat in a chair in the garden. I opened the box containing clippers and graded clip-ons. 

‘A Grade 3, I think,’ I said confidently, attaching the guard over the cutting blades.

‘That seems quite short,’ Joe said doubtfully.

‘No, it’ll be fine.’ 

I clicked the ‘On’ button and the clippers buzzed into life. All went well for a while. Joe obediently tipped his head this way and that, and clumps of hair fell to the ground in satisfying piles.

KER-BANG! 

A massive blast ripped through the air and Joe and I jumped in fright. 

`They’re getting the Fiesta started,’ said Joe, settling back into the chair. ‘Why do the Spanish like such loud fireworks?’

To my horror, a bald patch, the width of the hair-clippers, gleamed palely on the back of Joe’s head. Somehow the guard had been knocked off the clippers and the naked blades had chomped a track through the hair. I recalled my daughter telling me this was called a ‘Runway’ or ‘Brazilian’ but didn´t think it a style usually adopted for men’s haircuts.

‘They’ll be letting off more, you mark my words,’ said Joe. ‘How’s the haircut coming along?’ 

‘Fine,’ I lied.

I didn’t replace the guard, I just worked at evening out the remaining hair length. My efforts were not successful. The more I clipped, the worse it all looked. Joe’s head looked as though a plague of starving moths had descended and feasted.

‘I think that’s it,’ I said, brushing off the last hair clumps from his shoulders.

Joe stood and went inside to admire my handiwork in our large living-room mirror. I counted down…10, 9, 8, … 2, 1, Zero… 

On cue, an anguished howl rent the air.

‘What have you done?’ yelled Joe.

☼ ☼ ☼

Lala, our neighbour’s Yorkshire terrier, and Joe´s arch enemy, is more incensed than ever. She hated Joe before, but the jaunty baseball cap Joe now sports absolutely enrages her. As reported in my last blog, she succeeded in sinking her teeth into Joe’s ankle  once before. She now redoubles her efforts to repeat the exercise. 

Joe is not pleased with me at the moment.

The moral of this story is: Get your hair cut professionally. Or, never cut your beloved’s hair during a Spanish Fiesta.

 

 

 

 

 

Victoria Twead’s newly released book ’Chickens, Mules and Two Old Fools‘

was awarded the HarperCollins ‘Gold Star’.

It is now available from Amazon, WH Smith, Waterstones, Barnes and Noble, etc. 

Win a FREE copy here.

 

 

 

Winter approaches, the Log Man is here.

 

We never know exactly when the Log Man is coming. He just turns up, usually early in the morning, before we’ve woken up properly. He leans on the doorbell, and when I open the door, he grunts, ’Leña’. Not as a question, just a statement; ‘Firewood’.

 

 

 

It happened today. It would be tempting to say ‘No, thank you,’ but we know we’d regret that. If we didn’t accept it, we’d have to collect it ourselves, in our jeep. That would mean one trip every week just to keep our greedy wood-burning stove happy.

 

No, it makes sense to have it delivered. Even if it means three hours of hard work. The Log Man lets down the side of the lorry, and stands aside to allow his young helper to climb up and throw all the logs into the street. They soon pile up into a precarious heap, round logs avalanching down the pile and rolling everywhere.

 

Today, Joe felt sorry for the lad and climbed up onto the lorry to help him. The Log Man made no effort to assist, and the two workers soon had an audience of villagers, children and village dogs. When the lorry was empty, the lad sprang down. Joe jumped down too, but forgot he was probably 45 years older than the lad. He landed badly, then stepped back on one of the round, rolling logs. He ended up on his back, legs flailing, like an over-turned tortoise. 

 

The spectators gasped and the Log Man and lad pulled Joe back onto his feet. Then, from nowhere, out shot Lala, our neighbours’ spiteful Yorkshire Terrier. Lala darted through the crowd and made straight for her arch enemy, Joe. Before he’d composed himself from his fall, Lala sank her teeth into Joe’s ankle. The crowd gasped again. Joe forgot the children present and swore as he tried to shake her off his leg.

 

Lala headed home, the Log Man drove away, the crowd dispersed, and we started clearing the road of logs. It took three hours of wheelbarrow load after wheelbarrow load, uphill. As usual, I broke all my nails, developed severe backache and totally lost my sense of humour. 

 

Never mind, it’s only October and we have a FULL WOODSHED.

 

Priceless!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victoria Twead’s newly released book ’Chickens, Mules and Two Old Fools‘

was awarded the HarperCollins ‘Gold Star’.

It is now available from Amazon, WH Smith, Waterstones, Barnes and Noble, etc. 

 

 

    

Amazing, but true. Fact: if you stop and just listen, you can tell what season it is, and even which day of the week. 

 

To explain, our village is tiny. In the winter there are only six souls, including Joe and me. But in the summer, and at weekends, it’s a very different matter.

 

All the Spanish families pile into their cars and drive into the mountains, open up their cottages and relax. On Sunday night they reverse the process, leaving the village quiet and empty.

 

If  you know me at all, you’lI know I make lists. These are the sounds that I heard and wrote down.

 

Weekends

✮ People laughing

✮ People shouting

✮ Babies crying

✮ Cars

✮ Scooters, lots of them. Many are tiny scaled-down versions ridden by little boys. 

✮ The rumble of the almond de-husking machines. I never knew almonds needed to be stripped of their green outer husks. People sit in the street turning the handles, and filling sacks with almonds. We’ve been given so many we could live off them for weeks.

✮ Children playing football in the square

✮ Dogs barking

✮ Football matches. I mean on the TV, but our neighbours bring the TV out into the street, followed by the 3-piece suite and extra chairs. Then other villagers bring their chairs and join them.

✮ Hooting delivery vans selling bread, fruit and fish

✮ Joe cracking almonds 

 

Weekdays

✮ A very distant tractor

✮ Birds rustling in our vine stealing grapes

✮ Geronimo’s mule singing to his girlfriend

✮ Cocks crowing

✮ Joe cracking almonds

 

So, which do I prefer? The noisy weekends or the quiet weekdays? Sorry, can’t decide. I love them both.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Order or win a copy of

‘Chickens, Mules and Two Old Fools’

by Victoria Twead

 here

 

I hate having my hair done. I mean, I REALLY hate it. I hated it in England, and I still hate it in Spain.

 

It’s not that I’m a fussy customer – I don’t really care how my hair turns out, it’ll always grow again. No, it’s always something else, not the actual cutting-of-hair that I dislike. In England, I think it was the boredom, being a prisoner – chained to the salon chair until it’s all over.

 

But here in Spain it’s a little different. Allow me to share my pain with you…

 

1) Tracy

I liked Tracy. She was English and recommended. Tracy cut hair expertly in her kitchen, and her little dog only jumped up and barked in my face for about 15 minutes or so. Tracy was a good hairdresser – and also a good talker. Tracy could chat endlessly and didn’t seem to need to take a breath. I would nod, politely agreeing but willing her to take a breath and STOP TALKING. After a session with Tracy, my hair was cut, but my ears were used, bruised and abused. Time for a change.

 

2) Antonio

I liked Antonio. He cut hair well and was friendly and personable. The problem was that he insisted on speaking English. I didn’t understand his English and he didn’t understand my Spanish. For example, someone popped into the salon and handed Antonio a cardboard box. There was something scuttling in it. The assistants all took a peep and exclaimed. Curiosity consumed me.

 

‘What animal is in the box?’ I asked in my best Spanish.  

 

Antonio’s scissors stopped snipping and his brow furrowed as he tried to understand me. I tried again.

 

‘What animal is in the box?’ I asked in Spanish, then English, pointing. 

 

‘Not understand,’ said Antonio, shaking his head. I gave up.

 

But the communication problem was most severe at the end of each session. 

 

‘You desire spritz?’ asked Antonio insisting in speaking creative English, a giant catering-size can of hairspray already poised and  aimed.

 

‘No, thank you, I’m allerg…’ Too late. The air turned heavy and sticky with spray.

 

I left the salon, as always, coughing and wheezing, nose running, eyes streaming. But not before I’d managed to take a peep into the cardboard box. Inside were two young homing pigeons. The pigeons were attractive, but the spray was just too much.

 

3) Juanita

I liked Juanita. She was a skilled hairdresser and had a Lithuanian assistant called Olga.  Both wore white overalls and were masters of salesmanship.

 

‘Would you like Product?’ asked Juanita. ‘Extra vitamins for your dry hair? Would you like an Indian Head Massage?’

 

’No, thank you, just my hair cut…’

 

‘Your nails are ragged. Manicure? Pedicure?’ Olga chimed in, parking her trolley firmly by my chair.

 

‘Your eye-brows have grey hairs in them,’ accused Juanita. ‘Olga will dye them.’

 

I was helpless, and as Olga transformed my eye-brows into black hairy caterpillars, Juanita sat on the front door-step, smoking.

 

‘There is a lot of water in the road,’ said Juanita, returning.

 

I paid them both and left. Joe was waiting on the other side of the street. Juanita was right; water flooded down the road. I hitched up my skirts and waded through to join him.

 

‘You should have seen it!’ said Joe, wisely not commenting on my duelling raven eye-brows. ‘You see that digger up there? Well, it was working away on the mountainside when it broke through an underground spring. The water! Never seen so much water! It all rushed down the slope and into the village. Absolute torrents!’

 

And I missed it because of my eye-brows…

 

Does anyone know of a good hairdresser?  

 

 

Order or win a copy of

‘Chickens, Mules and Two Old Fools’

by Victoria Twead

 here.

 

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to let you all know that my first brand new single Needles and Pins under my artist name Klaw will be out this coming Monday 14th of September. It will be available from itunes, amazon, napster etc. I hope you can download it and let me know of your feedback. The music video is still in the completion process and will update again when it ready for viewing.  I would like to thank Tim for his support, and for a great site, and of course all of my friends and supporters…we all need your help…Rashpal aka Klaw. x

Hello everyone,

I would like to share the progress I have had recently with regards to pushing my solo music up the ladder. I have recently been offered a digital deal to release my first single which will be available by itunes, napster, hmv digital etc, by late Sept/early Oct this year. I am currently in the process of shooting the music video which is fun, but can be a bit hectic at times!   This is just a first step in achieving a release and I will have to wait and see what comes of it, but what I really need to do is get myself a plugger and begin promoting my material all over.  Each year lately has been fruitful, slowly I have been seeing results which is good and again none of this is possible without the great support I have recieved and continue to receive from all around.  I will keep the updates coming in.  Rashpal aka Klaw. x

As promised I said I would talk about me as an artist and how I became inspired to join this amazing path of music, and apologies why it has taken so long for me to post this second blog…life is just so busy at the mo…but I am not complaining! When I began training for my diploma in contemporary popular music at Middlesbrough College in the UK, I very quicky began developing myself as a solo artist, as a singer and songwriter…that was after my attempts to join bands!  I wanted image, so soon I found myself designing my own “Klaw” image and my costume maker, Mandy from Redcar created the amazing finished product.  I began performing at a number of music venues in the centre of Middlesbrough, venues like The House, The Mulberry Tree, Dickens Inn, etc, aswell as at the Middlesbrough festival, venues in Redcar, The Mean Fiddler in London and The NEC in Birmingham to name but a few.  At the time my material was all typical “Pop” but soon as time went by and as I continued to write, my material became more mature and geered towards the adult market as opposed to just the kids!  Not long after, saw my move to the Costa, in Arroyo de la Miel.  For six years I worked all the hours god gave me, and by evening I was so tired.  During those six years, apart from continuing to write songs, nothing else happened with my music, as out here nobody was interested in original music.  I thought that was it at times…but I continued to push not wanting to let this passionate dream go.  After nearly seven years I located a great music producer, John, who helped me produce my first album “Electric Pulse”, which was aired by all the local ex-pat radio stations, Mijas televison, write ups in the Sur, the Olive Press, The News etc.  Finally my musical path was moving forward again, but during those years I met so many talented original bands and artists who had lost their passion for original music to the cover circuits in the numerous bars scattered across the coast.  That saddened me very much, and I hoped not to follow in their footsteps.  Over the years, I have been compared by many peers, friends, and strangers for both my songwriting talent and my vocals to Freddie Mercury, Michael Jackson, Gary Barlow, Kim Wilde, Yoko Ono, Martha and the Mufins and Propaganda from the 80´s!  Yeah I know many differences between the artists,but I guess that goes to show that my music does not all sound the same!  I have been looking  for management companies and agents to sign me up, but this industry is now more competitive than ever, and nothing happens over night, but I am not going to let that put me off.  I believe that if one really believes in themselves and thier product whatever it might be, then you have to keep pushing for what you want to achieve aswell as knowing when to give up at the same time, and hopefully one will achieve what they want.  And I hear some people saying “when does one give up?”  Well the answer is simple, exhaust all of your leads, research and push your proposal to everyone in the industry who you can find, big and small walks of life in the industry, pass the word out to everyone who you know about who you are and what you do, even none industry related and once all your leads have been exhausted, and still nothing has surfaced, then perhaps the product was not quite right for the industry, or perhaps the opportuinities were not in the right place at the right time.  All I know is that we all have to try, we all have the same chances in life, what seperates us apart is how hard and how far we are prepared to push to get what we want.  I have been very fortunate to have recieved a lot of support from the many ex-pats who reside here on the coast, not to forget Tim Knaggs who set up this blog  for me in the first place to allow me to keep everyone updated about my chosen musical career path.  I have had such great positive feedback by so many in the industry but no record deal as such!  But all I will say is that I have a few things up my sleeve, and just watch this space!  Next time I will talk about why I chose to become a solo artist as opposed to joining a band…the advantages and disadvantages of each, and why in the end, choosing the solo path was the best decision I made.  In the meanwhile all I will say to everyone talented out there, is keep creating and keep pushing for what you want, eventually you may achieve it…until the next time…Rashpal aka Klaw. x

Iron Maiden: New Album & Tour In 2010 22nd April 2009 Iron Maiden will hit the studio to record a brand new album in 2010 before heading out on the road once more later that year.Speaking to Planet Rocks Rob Birnie for an interview thats due to air in a couple of weeks, Nicko McBrain says that the band will be having a rest following their 18 month trek around the world on their Somewhere Back In Time Tour but will reconvene later in the year. “We’re gonna take the rest of this year off. We’re gonna write in November/December and then go to record the new album in January next year,” Nicko told Rob. “After we finish the album we’ll more than likely go out on tour, I should imagine. Whether we go out sooner or later we don’t know. But the way we look at it is once you’ve made your album you don’t want to sit on it too long because you forget the stuff that you’ve recorded! Well I do anyway… You wanna go out and hit it while it’s hot so probably autumn time next year, maybe a little later.” The new album will be the follow up to 2006’s A Matter Of Life And Death.

Hi guys – Just a note to say that the trio, Fragile Crocodile played a music venue last saturday at the Kelsey Arms in Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

The band were on fine form with a good crowd. Just a note to say that we are endeavouring to make dates to come across to the Malaga region this summer, so please keep an eye on this website for any new details.